We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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