Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
