I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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