i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
