so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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