we have officially lost it.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize
