i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
