I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
