When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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