y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize