he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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