Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
