plz talk dirty to me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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