omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
