Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
