it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
