I'm so fucking centered right now
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
