I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
