I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
