I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Randomize
