I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
