im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
