Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
