pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
