In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
