I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
