You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize