Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
