Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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