I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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