I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
