I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She bit a glass in half.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
