If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
