Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
