if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she woke up with a sticky ear
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
