he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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