Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she told me i tasted like america
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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