well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
