it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
