i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
