i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I understand Curling. That high.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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