Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
