i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
