I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
