Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
