sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
