roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
