I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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