you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
