anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
