I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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