Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
