I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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