I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
