1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
