there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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