I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
